GIANT D-Bag

Holy crap! Look a the size of this guy! This jagwad comes to us from a concerned citizen in our nation’s capital. We’ll call her “JSS” and bear witness to the gigantic fail that was her commute:

“Dear PLD –

Long time reader; first time submitter.  Wanted to make sure you know you aren’t alone out there in Chicago.  Here on the DC Metro system, PLDs abound!

This morning I was telling a friend on my commuter train about your website.  Not 5 minutes later, I jumped on the Metro’s Red Line where I was ‘fortunate’ enough to be trapped in by, not one, but two of them.  Thanks Irony!  Unfortunately, they created such a squeezed in cluster-F that I could only manage to get one in the shot.  Getting my phone out of my bag was death-defying enough.

What you can’t see in the picture is the PLD who was clogging up the door just to my right, making it, at best, single-file in.  The real problem, though, was created by this PLD in the photo.  What you also can’t see is all the effing empty space in front of him no one could get to because he was busing, well, leaning.  The woman in the immediate foreground tried unsuccessfully to grab the pole, but settled on stretching out for the one overhead.  The woman with the black glove managed to grab on while he leaned forward a bit.  Yes, he opted for the North Face jacket, which, based on how low he wore his pants and how far that pole was wedged into his ass crack, may have been the only thing separating my trusty Metro gripping equipment from this d-bag’s netherlands.”

Sweet-baby-Jesus-in-spandex, this is haaarrrible! There’s nothing like the falling temperatures to bring out the North-Face-clad epidemic that is the PLD. It’s tragic that it has already reached DC and I feel for you JSS… and the poor lady holding on for dear life while “el gigante” gets comfy.

Thanks for sending this one in JSS! Stay vigilant and we’ll ride out this winter of social discontent together.

Oh yeah, this guy probably wishes he had his golf clubs with him, and you know he has golf clubs, taking up even more room on the train with the enormity of his wonderfulness. Ass.