Seat Hogging Douchebags

Goin’ Hoggin’!!!

Monday, July 6th, 2009
Baggage Jam

Baggage Jam

This tale of Seat-Hogging assholery comes from a fan. We’ll call her…oh I don’t know… “SuperAwesomeCoolnessAndStuff.” Let’s listen in now, shall we?

“I expected a full train heading south on the blue line towards downtown on a Thursday evening at 5pm rush hour.  What I couldn’t forsee was a pack train car turned boy school lounge.  These D-bags sat one per seat complete with their dirty shoes on the seats around them, threw their luggage by the doors so people had to crawl around them and get smacked in their legs by the the unattended bags. It was almost like they were trying to win a D-bag award.  Also, the one in the corner had a full size speaker set blasting Michael Jackson songs on full volume.  I was so sorry for the one little old lady sitting right next to this ass.

I wanted so badly to shove their bags out the doors during the stops.
Cheers!”

Baggage Jam Continued

Baggage Jam Continued

The heart breaketh deep and wide, SuperAwesomeCoolnessAndStuff. The words “cluster” and “fuck” pop into my head for some reason.

Oh yeah, these guys probably are probably all headed to a dry cleaning convention. Asses.

Keep ‘em coming people!

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Rating: 10.0/10 (4 votes cast)

My Bag Is My Travel Companion

Monday, May 4th, 2009
Nice Sack

Nice Sack

It’s been a day for the PLD sub-genres. This Seat-Hogging  Douchebag comes to us anonymously from a METRA rider. Let’s hear his dispair story:

“Hopping on the METRA Milwaukee West line on an average Wednesday afternoon, and what do I see? A lanky PLD-wannabe (hoody-engaged, of course) sitting down, flipping the seat in front of him backwards, putting his bag on top of it, and whipping out his cell phone. The train eventually filled to the point that someone had to ask him if they could have the seat; THE HORROR! After a very visible and animated “Harumph” he took his bag from the seat, and begrudgingly gave it up, providing an impressive stink-eye the entire time. ”

People, I saw the other photos. The train was packed. Thanks, secret-anonymous-guy for sending this in.

Oh yeah, this guy probably has his hoodie “engaged” because he’s tired of everyone wanting his attention. Ass.

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Rating: 10.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Sleepy Seat-hogger

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
shhhhhh!

shhhhhh!

This “Seat-Hogging Douchebag” photo comes to us from E.T.  Let’s here his tale of human-civility failure from the Purple Line…

“I got on the train, and like any regular rider with proper train etiquette, I went straight to the back since about a hundred people were getting on at the belmont stop.  After the dude opens his eyes for a second on the train, he actually moves his briefcase further into the seat next to him and places his left arm across it so he can “sleep” better.  Thankfully, he was in one of the plastic covered seats at the back of the train, so I can only assume that some homeless dude pissed all over it at some point.”

Well, there you have it. I just want to know what’s up with that spiky thing on the back of his head.

Thanks again, E.T!

Oh yeah, this guy probably probably dropped some of your food on the floor and put it back on your plate without telling you. Ass.

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Rating: 10.0/10 (3 votes cast)

Move Yo Crap Before I Drop A Baby On You

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

 

"It's cool. I'm just 8-months pregnant."

"It's cool. I'm just 8-months pregnant."

We’re putting this under our new category “Seat Hogging Douchebags.” You’ll find the link in the right-hand navigation on the homepage. This was sent to us by an anonymous 8-months pregnant Metra rider. Let’s hear her story:

“My A-didas! Yes, this man’s adidas bag needed a seat more than anyone else on the train today, even my 8 month pregnant self! At least he could spread out to read his newspaper.”

Thanks, anonymous contributor! Hopefully, someone will chop this guy up so he can actually fit in that duffel bag.

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Rating: 6.5/10 (4 votes cast)