Seat Hogging Douchebags

Cinderella Story…

Thursday, November 19th, 2009
I'm gonna go with the douche-iron

I'm gonna go with the douche-iron

This gem was sent to us from J.K. What the hell is this, J.K.?

“We’ll call this douche the arnold palmer of the seat hogging douchbag world.”

And how, good sir…aaaand how. Three fucking seats? Really? I would keep typing but my head literally exploded all over my keyboard.

Thanks again, J.K. Sorry for the delay.
While we’re talking about the delay, just a quick note. Sometimes your photos land in my junk folder and I don’t see them right away. My apologies in advance.

Oh yeah. This guy is probably trying to pass-off that hand-held blackjack game as some kind of fancy phone and pretending to check his stocks. Ass.

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Rating: 7.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Splitsville for Business Guy

Thursday, November 12th, 2009
May I Take Your 50-piece luggage set, sir?

May I Take Your 50-piece luggage set, sir?

So this one comes to us from someone I’m calling “B”. Shall we?

“I know this isn’t technically a Pole-Leaning Douchebag, But look at how much fucking luggage this douche has (leaning on the pole). Taking up two seats and the whole bag area!” Close, B. We’re putting this under “seat-hogging”.

I know what you’re all thinking. “Wait? It doesn’t seem to be that crowded. No one appears to be in need of a seat. He’s just going on a trip and these are his bags. What’s the big deal?”

Well… you’re 100% right.  Now, maybe like 50 people got on the train at the next stop and this whole seen turned completely tragic. I dunna know. The reason I posted this one was because I just couldn’t fathom what a gigantic pain in the ass it’s gonna be when he gets off the train and into the airport.  I mean, look at it all!! Maybe I’m getting soft…

Oh yeah, this guy probably asks every new “friend” he makes if they’ve seen Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Ass.

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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

No Rest For The Hoggins

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
shhhh...

shhhh...

Wake up, sleepypants.  J.H., a concerned citizen on the Purple Line caught our friend here taking a load off. Any words for us?

“Purple line seat hogging dbag on this morning’s rush hour.”

That would be October 5th’s rush hour, to be exact. Yep. Still getting through the back log, folks.

Thanks again J.H.! Keep ‘em coming.

Oh yeah, this guy probably dressed inappropriately to his nephew’s christening. Ass.

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Rating: 9.0/10 (3 votes cast)

I don’t even know where to begin…

Friday, July 31st, 2009
"check out my expensive ball-warmer"

"check out my expensive ball-warmer"

It’s true. I don’t even know where to begin on this one. It was sent by someone only known as “Things.” Seriously. I can’t make this stuff up. With just a smidge of background…

“This guy sits next to me on the Metra every morning and every morning is sits like this.”

Ouch. Thanks, Things! We’ve filed him up under “Seat Hogging Douchebags.”

Keep ‘em coming people!

Oh yeah, this guy is probably logged into PizzaHut.com and is placing an order for a large Meat-Lover’s, some wings and some cinnamon sticks. Ass.

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Rating: 8.6/10 (8 votes cast)

Boss Hog

Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
"Can I offer you 1/4 seat, ma'am?"

"Can I offer you 1/4 seat, ma'am?"

Here, we have another Seat-Hogging Douchebag caught, yet again, by one of our with-child readers. We’re grateful for her previous posts. Let’s hear how bad it gets:

“I imagine any conversation with this upstanding citizen would go something like this:

Tired mother/pregnant lady and/or worker saddled with laptop, backpack and lunch bag:   ’May I sit down?’

This upstanding citizen:  ’I'm sorry, this seat is reserved for…..MY ARM!’

Oh…And check out how packed this Oak Park bound Green Line train was….”

Can’t really tell how crowded it was from this pic, but I know good and well to take you at your word. Thanks for the story! Keep ‘em coming people!

Oh yeah, I noticed the wedding band on this guy’s finger. I wonder if his wife knows this is what he does when she’s not around. Ass.

UPDATE!!!

Here’s the shot showing how crowded it was when the above photo was taken:

Thanks for the follow-up, diligent citizen! Keep up the good work…

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Rating: 5.0/10 (4 votes cast)