Motorized Douchebags

Bumper to Bumper DB

Monday, May 4th, 2009
Went for juice, returned with anger.

Went for juice, returned with anger.

What’s this? Where’s the train? The pole? Don’t fret. I received this distress call from K.K. in an undisclosed part of America. I felt her pain and created a new section called “Motorized Douchebags.” you know what to do people…

Let’s hear the tale of woe that touched my heart:

“Last Friday, when we had some nice weather, I thought I would take my children to the park to play. After about an hour or so, my two year old requested some juice, which I had left in my mommy-van. Imagine my surprise to find someone had parked their van in the bumper kiss position [ed. I love this term]. They could have kissed the bumper, and backed up a little bit. They didn’t even back it up an inch!

To top it all off, the back third of the vehicle was STILL parked illegally, that is to say, the van was not parked in between the signs, even after taking away my ability to back up.

Ok, I know this douche is not hogging a seat or leaning on a pole, but as soon as I saw this act of douchery, I knew I had to tell you.”

I’m a sucker for kids, people. What can I say? As a car-owner in the city, I can relate to you K.K.

Oh yeah, this person probably doesn’t tip for shit. Ass.

Thanks for sticking with us, people. I’ve been on vacation since Thursday in the mountains of Pennsylvania. They got nature all over the place up there.

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