Chicago

Winnin’ Ugly

Monday, December 14th, 2009
hot style

hot style

Ty-ty

Ty-ty

Hello everyone! This clusterfrak comes to us from “MM.” Let’s listen in…

“Wanted to share my tale of woe.

The date: Nov. 16.  The train: Green line in Chicago.

During my morning commute, I boarded the usually crowded train to find… an available seat!  Oh happy day!  I passed the usual crowd huddled by the door on my way to this rare treat of a seat.  As I turned to sit, the train suddenly lurched and I was thrown off balance.  By reflex, I grabbed for the pole which was right in front of me.  Alas - my fingers felt only the texture of cheap White Sox jacket fleece.  I didn’t have a chance.  Pathetically I fell backward, stepping on an innocent bystander’s foot and HITTING MY FRICKING HEAD on the pole behind me.  Thanks jerk.  Now people are getting mild concussions and fractured toes because of douchebaggery like yours.

I attach a photo of the DB in violation of common courtesy and of the moment he was too ty-ty to lean anymore.”

Sweet ginger brown, MM. That sucks fat donkey dick, and so does this guy. Thanks for sending this in and I can just feel the sympathy from all our readers as humanity slides further into a PLD dystopia.

Oh yeah, this guy’s shoes were his big attempt to appear more attractive to the gender of his choosing. Unfortunately, he was unable to raise the rest of his game… and he probably hangs out near the American Girl Store, just by chance. Ass.

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Rating: 7.5/10 (4 votes cast)

Cinderella Story…

Thursday, November 19th, 2009
I'm gonna go with the douche-iron

I'm gonna go with the douche-iron

This gem was sent to us from J.K. What the hell is this, J.K.?

“We’ll call this douche the arnold palmer of the seat hogging douchbag world.”

And how, good sir…aaaand how. Three fucking seats? Really? I would keep typing but my head literally exploded all over my keyboard.

Thanks again, J.K. Sorry for the delay.
While we’re talking about the delay, just a quick note. Sometimes your photos land in my junk folder and I don’t see them right away. My apologies in advance.

Oh yeah. This guy is probably trying to pass-off that hand-held blackjack game as some kind of fancy phone and pretending to check his stocks. Ass.

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Rating: 7.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Fully Krausened PLD

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
This is someone's dad

This is someone's future dad

This one was sent anonymously. Let’s hear the magical story:

“caught a beer drinking pld on the red line yesterday”

Hmmm…sort of anti-climactic. but it’s genius in its simplicity.  But seriously, how is that position more comfortable than just holding on to the damn pole?

Keep ‘em coming folks! sendtopld@gmail.com

Oh yeah, this guy probably hates books and the person who writes them all. Ass.

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Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast)

PLD Mosh Pit

Monday, November 16th, 2009
human spaghetti

human spaghetti

Really? I mean… REALLY?

I can only hope this photo accurately represents how f-ing crowded it was on the train.  Look at the hand at the bottom. Barely able to hold on as the train hurtles away from a brighter tomorrow.

Seriously dude. Seriously. Move.

Oh yeah, this guy probably promises to let your dog out while your gone, forgets and then half-assed-ly attempts to clean up the mess in the hopes you don’t notice. But you do. And he never brings it up. Ass.

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Rating: 9.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Backpack Jag Sack

Friday, November 13th, 2009
Destroy self, please

Destroy self, please

Happy Today, all. This one comes from someone suffering on the Brown Line. Let’s listen in:

“Not only was this guy leaning against the wall and blocking the doorway, he also refused to move @ wash / wells - the busiest stop on the brown line. ”

Backpacks on the train. Hate ‘em. HATE. THEM. Know what else I can’t stand? When I see full-grown business-types, going to work with backpacks. What are you? Like 9? Get a man-bag, dill rods. Oh, and whatever you do, please fill the bag up to maximum capacity and then don’t take it off when the train gets crowded. Everyone loves starting their day off getting body-checked by your crap-sack.

Oh yeah, the shit in this guy’s bag is probably super f-ing important. Ass.

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Rating: 9.6/10 (8 votes cast)